A phone call from dad...

Sunday night my dad called me before I had a chance to call him.  He was lonely and worried.  My mother is back to hallucinating non-stop.  She accused him of leaving her...she kept saying "you're going to be getting married in a few minutes"...he is so completely worn down.  It makes me so sad and scared...scared to hear my dad so vulnerable.  He has every right to be tired...it's just that he is so strong and faces everything with nothing but positive thoughts and high hopes.  That has all changed because he knows there's not a happy ending for mom.  He commented to me that he "wonders if this is the end"...

I'm terrified.

A special holiday gift for my dad

First of all...Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and Happy Kwanza...and happy merry everything else I may have missed!  The past month has been a bear...was in a car accident...thankfully nobody was hurt and...IT WASN'T MY FAULT!  LOL!  Some poor guy rear-ended me.  I was sitting still when I was hit from behind by a guy going 45 mph...UGH...

Then...just discovered that the sub flooring in my kitchen will need to be replaced...yes, all of it replaced along with the kitchen cabinets due to extensive water damage from a leaking dishwasher.  SIGH...

PLUS!  THERE'S MORE!  I have my wireless service with Verizon.  I participate in their cool "new every two" program.  It provides a new phone a $0 to minimal cost every two years.  My new free phone...a Droid...arrived on 11/26.  On 12/18, I managed to drop the phone from my back pocket into the toilet as I pulled up my pants! LOL...sorry for the visuals that probably just popped into your head but...it's just too good of story to pass up.

It's a long story but...Verizon came through even though I did not have insurance on the phone.  I received my replacement last week...thankfully!

I tell you all of these stories to point out that I was walking around feeling all down in the dumps with all this crap going on...feeling sorry for myself.  And as I was whining on the phone with MetLife to open up my water damage claim, I realized that there are people without a place to live...and I have the audacity to sit here complaining?  My insurance is covering all of the repairs?  What's my issue?  Verizon replaced my phone...My car has been repaired after my accident...AM I SO SPOILED THAT I CAN'T SEE THAT I'M SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED???

So, now to update you on Bob & Jo Ann...there's really nothing new.  Mom now has mostly bad days...her hallucinations seem to be quite frightening.  At times she is violent in terms of throwing things, refusing to speak to my dad or just flat out not making any sense.  Dad just tries to deal with each day...he continues to show such strength and grace.  I'm trying to learn from his example. 

I'll be heading home for Christmas on Friday...I'm a little excited about the gift I have to give my dad.  I am so incredibly hopeful he will like it...the weekend before my dad closed the sale of our old house, Dad and I went over to the house for the last time.  It was a bright crisp fall day...I took about a million pics...I selected the very best ones and had large prints made.  I received them today...Lord, they are GORGEOUS!  THEN...I went shopping and found the most perfect rustic-looking frames EVER!!!  They are going to be perfect in my dad's new little house.  The shots are just from his old property...places that hold memories for us.  Here are the photos...

Old apple trees

Trees on the property

Pine tree that was "home' to a kitty I rescued

The driveway just as we got ready to leave for the last time

After I get them framed, I'll post more photos...I really think this will mean a lot to my dad...although the house I grew up in was freakishly small (right 850 square feet) for 4 people, it was my dad's Taj Mahal.  He loved this place and the 2 acres that went with it.  I hope these photos will help document it for him.

Will leave you all to go back to finishing up your holiday preparation or...just resting up for the big day.

Good wishes to you and your family!

BJ

Bob

The other half of the Bob & Jo Ann pair is Bob...my dad.  Oh what a complex yet simple man.  He was also born in the midst of the depression in WV, just as my mother was...but his family was better off than most.  Not wealthy...just not poor.  He lived "in town", grew up in a very nice home, his mom (born in 1893!) had a college degree.  They were not a coal family.  His dad owned a grocery store.  They never had to go hungry.  My dad and his brother and sisters had educational opportunities that many others, including my mom, in the area did not.


He grew up a quiet young man, very smart, well read, lots of friends...loved to play football in high school.  And he was, and still is, smart...freakishly smart.  He has always been a firm believer that if you research a topic, you can become an expert.  You can do anything you set your mind to if you simply follow the directions and use some logic.  That is one strong message he drove deeply into my thought process early on...and I attribute much of my personal and professional success to his example.


He joined the Army and served faithfully in WWII.  Once he came back from the war, he went off to college full of anticipation for a degree in engineering from Georgia Tech.  And it was at this time in his life that things started to change...he became a mad creature of habit...almost OCD-like.  Everything had to be done a certain way...his way.  Routine was critical...being able to control every aspect of the day was, well, critical.


With only one semester left until he graduated, he faced one of the biggest challenges of his life.  His older brother had taken money from their parents.  And, by the way, that's just a nice way of saying he stole money from his parents.  The parents had almost nothing left.  They were in danger of losing everything.  My dad, deeply loyal, felt his only option was to go home to WV and help his parents out.  This became a turning point for him...oh, he would go back and finish his degree...just needed to do the right thing and help his parents.  Except, life kind of got in the way and he never went back to finish up.  The thoughts about what could have been never left his mind.  This is a story that I heard over and over again as a child and even I as a young kid wondered what a man with such intelligence might have become if he could've only finished his education.


He came home, helped his parents get back on their feet and then met beautiful Jo Ann.  They were married in 1952 and had a normal early marriage.  Together they worked in the grocery store his dad owned.  All was normal and happy.  In 1955, my sister was born.  And then Bob & Jo Ann's life changed...forever.


More tomorrow.